tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79785284092473471342024-02-19T10:43:17.535-06:00God bless you for trying!Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.comBlogger32125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-55218397875321321692013-12-18T21:22:00.003-06:002013-12-18T21:22:40.399-06:00Hi there! Remember this blog?Hey! If you've read my blog before you know this is typical...I blog a bit, then you don't hear from me for months or years and then I blog a bit more before another break. So here is a brief reflection on my running lately. I can't promise there will be more after this for a while. I just write when the mood strikes and when I have time. <br />
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Anyway, my running has changed a bit in the last year or so, but especially in the last 6 months. This last spring, when the weather finally warmed up, our family did something we'd been meaning to do for a long time: we got an annual State Park permit and started hiking regularly at one of our local parks. It helps that our boys are now both old enough to hike on their own without needing us to carry them in a backpack or on our shoulders. Our second time out, we were having a nice time as usual, hiking through some woods and around a lake, stopping to have a snack, and just generally enjoying being outside together. Suddenly, a man came running around a bend and dashed out of sight. I knew people ran on trails in parks, but I never thought about doing it myself until I saw him. I figured if he could do it, so could I, so when I had some time the next week, I drove to the park and tried it out.<br />
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I've learned by now that the best way to start doing something new in running is slowly, especially when you don't know exactly how hard the trail is going to be and you don't have proper shoes on! So I started slowly, only running a mile or two at first. The hills, the fun of running through the woods, and the softer trails were a revelation! It wasn't long before I was running 5 to 7 miles every time out instead of only 2 to 4 and feeling just as great. Besides all that, I got to run in an environment that encouraged reflection, peace, and prayer that I've come to love as much as the physical part of running. Here is one of those places that I grew to love (Glacial Lakes State Park):<br />
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So I kind of fell in love with running all over again. I still run on the street occasionally, but I'm already looking forward to this spring when I can get back on the trail. I'm also searching for trail races in the area that I can participate in. If you're a runner and you haven't tried trail running at least once, you should! The sidewalk or street may never be the same again. In the meantime, happy running and may you have many opportunities to see something beautiful along the way!<br />
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Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-25124719831102840992012-05-27T00:21:00.002-05:002012-05-27T00:21:27.786-05:00Back Issues, New OpportunitiesUgh, I've been neglecting you, blog, and I'm sorry. And I've been neglecting you for the same reason this time that I neglected you before. It's not you, it's me. It's because I've been hurt again, so I've been doing my usual thing when I run up against adversity: I get kind of insulated and isolated and basically hide out for a while. What can I say? I'm a classic conflict avoidance personality type. So I'm trying to face this head on and writing about it would help, I think, but first I had to say, I'm sorry. <br />
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Here's the deal: if you can't tell from what I've written to you before, I love to run. In fact, I feel like it's one of the few things I'm naturally gifted at. Short list of things I enjoy doing and am pretty good at (not to toot my own horn or anything): talk to people, take pictures of trains, run. I've turned the first one into a career where I express ideas through spoken words for a living, mostly because I'm called to it, but also partly because the second thing on that list wouldn't pay the bills. The third one I've only discovered more recently and it has become a true joy in my life. I love running because, as a tall, lanky kid who wasn't very coordinated (and still isn't really), let's just say that athletics and I did not get along all the time when I was younger. Then all of a sudden, I found out that there was an athlete inside of me...once I took off my shoes and started to run. <br />
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Of course, there's no greater pain that having one of your sources of joy taken away from you. It's sort of like when your favorite baseball player decides to sign with the Angels after saying again and again that he wanted to retire as a Cardinal. So that's how I felt when I received a phone call from my doctor a few weeks ago following an MRI on my lower back and he told me that I have a herniated disc. I knew it was a possibility since I had been having sciatic pain in my left leg for a few weeks, but the confirmation of it hit me hard. All of a sudden, I was facing decisions about injections, therapy, and surgery. Running, which I hadn't done for weeks anyway, was seeming like an impossibility for even more weeks, maybe months, maybe ever. <br />
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To top it all off, I had to inform a couple of my best friends that I wouldn't be able to go on our much-anticipated train watching trip to Montana at the end of May, effectively killing the whole thing for all of us. They've been extremely kind about it, though, and I think I'm taking it much harder than they are. It's just one of those things where life seems to be going along a certain way, you have plans made, you're not worried about certain things, and suddenly it all changes. Things you used to be able to do without thinking (like getting out of bed, walking, etc) are suddenly painful and difficult. I have to say that the first few days of this ordeal were some of the worst of my life. I couldn't do much without pain medication and with it, I was in a perpetual haze and unable to focus.<br />
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Anyway, to make a long story short, I've had one corticosteroid shot into my back and it has helped relieve the pain. I'm continuing to do stretching and strengthening exercises and hoping and praying that my body can heal without the need for surgery. I'm still not running, but once my doctor assured me that this injury was not running related, but more likely linked to sitting in one position or poor posture, I'm starting to contemplate going out and just trying a mile or two. Above all, my friends and family (and parish) have been great through the whole thing. <br />
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Of course, my optimism and brightsidedness (I think I invented a word there) can't be totally squashed by this. I've learned a lot about myself and other people, especially those who suffer from chronic pain. What I'm going through certainly can't compare to what others face, but even a small taste of daily, constant pain is enough to make me realize how difficult it must be, both physically and psychologically. Also, I'm taking advantage of the opportunity to start fulfilling a long-time dream and goal of mine: I'm building a model railroad. I built a few small layouts when I was in high school, but never had the time or space in college and seminary to start over. My best friend from college bought me an N scale locomotive for Christmas and the bug has bit hard to give it a place to run. I've collected another engine and a few cars over the last few months. Now, with the week that I had planned to spend in Montana and the money I was going to use to get there, my friends and I are going to work on building a small layout along one wall of my garage. For those of you more interested in that sort of thing, I'm going to be chronicling my progress over on a new blog called <a href="http://revrailroading.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">The Rev Goes Railroading</a>. You'll find pictures and details of how it all comes along. Who knows? Maybe I'll even be able to throw a few reflections on life in there as well. Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-41957380377122007842011-11-02T21:51:00.000-05:002011-11-02T21:51:03.298-05:00Form Before FastChristopher McDougall, the author of the best-selling book Born to Run, published another article in the NY Times magazine about running today. It's a great read for anyone curious about running in general, but especially about why the shoes you wear mean absolutely nothing when it comes to preventing running related injuries. Here is a link to the article: <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/06/magazine/running-christopher-mcdougall.html?_r=1" target="_blank">The Once and Future Way to Run</a>. <br />
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It was a great read for me at this point. I've discussed some of the points he makes before on this blog, but to recap: there is a natural way for us to run as human beings. Our bodies were designed to run long distances without injury. We naturally run this way as children, but we've forgotten how to run over the course of our lives. Strapping on extra padding and support to our feet has actually increased the injury rate of distance runners over the last 30 years. If you truly want to run without injury for miles and miles and years and years, it's essential to return to your natural running form.<br />
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I've found that this is easier said than done. Even though I've been running in minimal footwear for almost two years now, I know that my form is still not what it should be. I experienced some injury and setback in my first year of this simply because I went too fast and too far before I really learned the proper form. I'm still hesitant to go too far because of this.<br />
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Oddly enough, I was just talking with my wife this morning about the possibility of running another half marathon next year. This article comes at the right time for me. What I've needed is some more precise direction about how to re-learn proper running form. The simple exercise he explains in the article seems to be what I've been waiting for. If you haven't watched the video included at the beginning of the article, go watch it: <a href="http://video.nytimes.com/video/2011/11/02/magazine/100000001149415/the-lost-secret-of-running.html" target="_blank">Video</a><br />
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I love that he actually demonstrates the exercise since the article made it sound more complex than it really is. It's incredibly simple. Anyone can do it. Whether you run in shoes or without them, you need to seriously consider this form of running. It will decrease your likelihood of injury and increase the fun you will have running.<br />
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We're probably like this in a lot of things in life, though. We jump into something exciting and want to go too far, too fast, too soon. Life (and faith) is about constantly returning to the basics. We take off too quickly or head in the entirely wrong direction, but God gently (or sometimes not so gently) molds us back into our proper form. Quite often, it's in the simplest of exercises that we retrain our bodies, our hearts, our minds, our souls, and get a little bit closer to the form we're meant to have.Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-17033642501433162952011-10-24T11:48:00.000-05:002011-10-24T11:48:54.571-05:00A word on division in the churchI haven't typically used this space to post things like newsletter articles and sermons. However, I've had a few people tell me how much they appreciated my newsletter article for October, so I thought I might go ahead and share it. Maybe some of it will be controversial to some of you theologically minded folks, but I welcome any discussion it might spark. I'm curious to know what other people's standards are for "unity" in the church. Anyway, here's what I wrote:<br />
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There’s something that’s been troubling me lately. Actually, it’s been troubling me for the last 2 years or so. Much has been written and talked about the decisions of the 2009 ELCA Churchwide Assembly regarding sexuality and ordination. This article is not about those decisions or whether we should agree or disagree with them. Instead, what has bothered me since 2009 is the decision of various leaders, members, and congregations to cut giving or leave the ELCA entirely as a reaction to these decisions. While many of these actions took place soon after the decisions of 2009, the voices of division and discord continue in our denomination.<br />
These actions are disturbing to me because they reflect a wider trend in our current culture. Our society seems to be more and more divided on more and more issues. Our political leaders are failing to act. Strong ideological rhetoric rules the day on both ends of the spectrum. Civil discourse and compromise seem to be rare commodities in so many places in our lives. Even as we gain the ability to be more closely connected through the power of social networking, we seem to be growing farther and farther apart. Rather than work through our disagreements, attempting to live together as fellow citizens and human beings, we often simply cut ties with the other and go our separate ways. We retreat to the safety of our own buildings, our own parties, our own homes, our own friends, our own websites, all while lobbing judgmental and self-righteous rhetoric against the other side.<br />
This is something that we’re all guilty of at various times and places in our lives. It can work itself out in our homes, our workplaces, our schools, our government, or any other public place. However, it saddens me that this same spirit of division has taken root and flourishes in various places within the ELCA. It shouldn’t be so. The church is meant to be different from the rest of our lives. The church is special, not because it’s where all the good, perfect, and holy people are, but because it’s a place where everyone is welcome, no matter what your race, gender, political ideology, wealth, social status, and yes, sexual orientation. It is the one place where divisions should end and unity in Christ rules the day. To claim otherwise by dividing ourselves from one another is not only disheartening; it is a direct assault on the sacraments that are central to our faith and practice.<br />
First, it is an affront to the baptismal promises that bind us together. When we were washed in the waters of baptism and “sealed by the Holy Spirit and marked with the cross of Christ forever,” we were bound to Christ and to one another with a bond that cannot be broken. Leaving a congregation or the ELCA is a false division. It denies the Spirit of adoption that has claimed us all and holds us together as brothers and sisters in Christ. At its worst, it could be interpreted as blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, the one sin that Jesus says is unforgiveable. When we dismiss one another, we deny the Spirit’s power in baptism to overcome our sinfulness and unite us as the one body of Christ.<br />
Second, it robs us of the powerful witness that is given when we share table fellowship with one another in the sacrament of Holy Communion. There is nothing more compelling in our broken and divided world today than the welcome Christ gives all people to his banquet table. Rich, poor, young, old, men, women, Republicans, Democrats, gay, straight, all races, sinners all of us, are welcome to receive mercy and pardon through the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. This is why the most profound words we say to each other are “the body and blood of Christ, given and shed for you.” It is humbling and powerful to stand in front of the congregation, to see each of you come forward, and to know how deeply Christ means those words for each of you. It is the one place I still see in our world where divisions truly cease and all are welcome on equal footing, no one greater than the other. If, then, we truly mean those words for one another, for every person that comes to Christ’s table, how can we go and divide ourselves as if they’re not true? What more do we need to unite us than the body and blood of Christ? I cannot tell you how sad it is to me that we are robbing ourselves of the chance to provide this witness to the world by deciding that these sideline issues are more powerful than the uniting power of Christ’s own body and blood.<br />
I pray that these divisions will cease and that we can resume working together for the sake of the gospel. Rather than give in to the evil desire for division and discord, let us witness to the power of our unity in Christ. Let us have the courage to proclaim that, while we may deeply disagree with one another on certain issues, we are still united by the Holy Spirit through our baptism into Christ and by the power of his body and blood, given and shed for all people. There is no greater witness we can provide to our world today than to show how people of vastly differing opinions and backgrounds can live and worship together, united by a power that is greater than all false divisions: the power of the cross of Christ.<br />
In Christ,<br />
Pastor Bryant<br />
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So, what do you think? The issue of sin in the church is a difficult one. I wrote this from an ideological standpoint, but I understand that the way we live this out practically is full of compromises. For instance, I don't want psychologically unstable and violent individuals endangering the safety of the congregation. There may be instances when individuals would not be welcome to attend worship. I wouldn't let every person on the street teach Sunday School. However, as a basic stance of my faith, I need to look on my fellow sinners through the eyes of Christ, offering them mercy and pardon. Like I said, I can understand a need to hold certain people at a distance for the sake of safety. What's troubling is that we aren't dividing the church in order to protect ourselves from danger or violence. Instead, we're dividing ourselves to protect some false sense of holiness and purity. The only holiness we have is Christ's holiness, not our own. Again, I feel like we're robbing ourselves of a huge opportunity to witness to the power of our faith precisely when the world needs to see examples of unity the most.Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-65635486578584663002011-10-19T15:33:00.000-05:002011-10-19T15:33:51.708-05:00Communicatio idiomatumSo I spent a good chunk of last week at the Southwestern Minnesota Synod's Fall Theological Conference, which is a fancy way of saying that the pastors and leaders in our area got together for a few days to hear some presentations, learn some things, share some ideas, and generally experience what we like to call "collegiality" (that's a fancy way of saying we work together, support one another, and try to get along). Anyway, the theme of this year's conference was "Ecclesia," which is a fancy way of saying "Christian church." We heard a couple of speakers who, in a lot of fancy ways, talked about how we might re-imagine what it means to be the Christian church in a post-modern, 21st century, post-Christendom, emergenty kind of way (that's a fancy way of saying we don't know who we are, the church as we know it is fading out of existence, so we probably need to do things differently). There were plenty of great ideas thrown around and there was lively conversation and it was generally a good thing, in a Lutheran, theological, conferency kind of way. <br />
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On the other hand, I can't tell you how weird this sort of thing is. I found myself wondering what people looking in from the outside would think of our Fall Theological Conference on the subject of "Ecclesia." The theological language we use must be bizarre in and of itself, if not indecipherable (that's a fancy way of saying you can't understand it). At some point, I wanted to walk out of the room, find one of the staff members of the conference center we were at and ask them, "What do you think about all this? What do you think the church is? Can you understand any of what we're talking about? Do you think any of it matters?" I really think I would have learned more from that conversation than I did from parts of the conference itself (as great as it was). <br />
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I guess these things are especially strange to me as a young pastor because I'm on the inside now, but I also remember what it's like to be on the outside of leadership in the church. I remember looking at pastors sitting around tables talking and thinking, "Wow! They're so much smarter than me! They must be having great conversations!" The truth is, we're not, and we're not. (Ok, that's too harsh, but you get my point about putting pastors on a pedestal, right?) Pastors are people who happen to have (presumably) learned a lot about the Bible and theology so that we can preach, lead worship, preside at Holy Communion, etc. That doesn't make us better than anyone else or smarter than anyone else. Some of the best theologians I've ever met are people who spend a lot of time behind the wheel of a tractor or truck, in front of a classroom, in a nursing home room, at home with young children, or behind a desk. They're some of the best theologians because they take the Christian faith and interpret it in everyday language that's meaningful to them. That's something pastors struggle to do because we're encumbered by all kinds of theological language and ideas that are generally confusing (even to us at times, which is why we have to think and talk about them a LOT). We also are hindered by the fact that we generally spend our time sitting in church offices, in meetings, visiting church members, and doing other churchy things. In other words, we, because it's our job, tend to focus on the church. Unfortunately, that makes it somewhat difficult to focus on...you know...the world. That is, unless we make a conscious effort to get out of our churches and engage the world as pastors, not as our mild-mannered alter egos that go grocery shopping and other normal, everyday things, but as honest to goodness pastors. <br />
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Like the pastor that I am, I'm starting to ramble on too long, so I should wrap this up. I basically wanted to say that I've sensed for a long time a disconnect between pastors and lay people in our church, and I don't think it's helpful. I love theological conferences and learning new things, but it doesn't do a bit of good if it can't be communicated in ways that actually matter to people. I get the sense that some pastors love these conferences because it gives them a chance to be among their peers and have the kinds of deep and thoughtful conversations that they long for. (Or, as a pastor once told me, "If I had enough money, I never would have left seminary.") I understand that, to a point, but then I just want to say, "Enough already! Let's get out of here and try having these conversations with other people!" Let's get back into the world to keep trying to convey the message of Christianity in a way that's engaging, experiential, and meaningful. I'm pretty sure that's what this whole "communicatio idiomatum" thing is about (that's a fancy way of saying the human and divine interact in the person of Jesus Christ so that we can be drawn closer to God in him). However, I worry sometimes that our theological language, as wonderful as it is, obscures Christ more than it serves him. This isn't meant to be critical of our pastors and theologians. It's more like a warning against intellectualism, or worse, gnosticism (a fancy way of saying you're saved by your special knowledge of Christ instead of Christ himself)....myself included. Having said that, I think I'll go up to the bakery and see what a few of my favorite theologians are talking about...<br />
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Required running content: this was all a fancy way of saying I think we as pastors and theologians do a great job of talking about running but often fail to lace up our shoes (or just run without them :-)Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-85388590911174072872011-09-15T19:14:00.000-05:002011-09-15T19:14:01.407-05:00Why Can't I Just Be?Sometimes living feels like a lot of work, doesn't it? My life as a husband, father, and pastor keeps getting more complex and busy. That's why I appreciate the simplicity of running. It's one stride after another, one breath after another...keep striding, keep breathing. I've said before that running barefoot has enormously enhanced that experience for me. It has helped me find my natural pace, my natural stride. I feel like I'm running as I was made to run. <br />
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As I said, I love that because it's really one of the few places where that kind of simplicity is possible in my life. I don't have many opportunities to just "be" what I'm meant to be. Maybe I'm projecting this unfairly, but I don't think this is peculiar to my life. We often feel disjointed, disconnected. We go through life desiring deep meaning and purpose, but rarely finding it. There's always something with our lives or ourselves that makes us dissatisfied. <br />
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No other creature seems to struggle with this, though. I sometimes envy animals who have no self-consciousness, no striving for meaning. They are content with what they are, secure in their "birdness" or "fishness" or "dogness." I seem to be so much less secure in my "humanness." Perhaps that's why in a previous post I felt a desire to leap into the field with the deer...so that I could simply be and exist with them. <br />
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It's the very peculiarity of this desire for meaning that makes me keep pursuing it, though. Being human, or at least being Bryant, seems to mean being a creature that seeks to make meaning out its existence. We are all little hermeneutical creatures, constantly trying to figure out what everything means, whether we do it consciously or not. <br />
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There are two ways that I've found myself trying to make meaning, most of the time. On one level, I love the conscious, mental gymnastics of dissecting and analyzing hermeneutics. I love engaging in deep dialogue and conversation with someone about ideas and meaning. In other words, I'm deeply shaped by Western philosophy. On another level, however, I recognize that I'm sometimes closest to fully realizing who I am, not when I have my nose in a book or when I'm turning everything over in my mind. Perhaps this is a more Eastern influence on my life, but right now, I'm finding that space of true being most clearly when I'm doing two things. The first is when I'm preaching. When my sermon is prepared, I'm proclaiming something that is deeply meaningful to me, and I can see it having an impact in people's lives, then I feel a great sense of being who I was meant to be. It doesn't happen with every sermon, but it happens more often there than many other places in my life. The second is when I'm running...one stride at a time, one breath at a time...my conscious mind switches off for a moment, I stop analyzing everything, and I just run and breathe. That's when I enter another space where I can just be me and celebrate who I am. <br />
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For me, that's a rare gift, and I think that's ultimately what keeps me running...not to stay in shape physically, or to reach a goal for a race, or to raise money for something. I run because it's one place that I can just be me. Wherever that space is for you, I hope that you find it. It's a deeply personal place that requires a willingness to shut everything else off...then, maybe for a moment, you can just be the beautiful creature you're meant to be.Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-19994833736227469602011-08-16T21:33:00.000-05:002011-08-16T21:33:56.218-05:00Catching upWow, a lot has happened since I posted something on here. I guess the most pertinent event for the general content of my blog is that I successfully completed the Fargo half marathon in May. I hoped to finish in around 2 hours. My official time was 2:11:51. I went out a little fast (surprise) and basically survived the last 4 or 5 miles. I thought I knew what sore legs felt like! <br />
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While I was pleased to finish, it wasn't as satisfying as I thought it would be. When I started running barefoot back in 2010, what excited me most was my ability to go out and run without feeling tired or having any pain or discomfort other than muscle soreness. In running the half marathon, I think I've found that my limit for that is about 8 miles. I underestimated how tough those last miles would be. It was frustrating to have to slow my pace that much and to finish quite a bit over my goal time. I also felt a lot worse afterwards than I thought I would. I thought my conditioning was where it needed to be to finish strong and recover quickly, but I was pretty miserable for a day or two afterwards. All of that meant that I was pretty sure that I wasn't going to try to run another half marathon again. I did it, and I'm proud that I ran 13.1 miles barefoot, but I wasn't sure it was something I ever wanted to do again.<br />
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So, after about a week off from running, I started getting ready for my next major running event: the Bonanza Valley Days 2 mile run. It was fun to get back to running shorter distances, and I worked really hard to get faster. I have a friendly competition going with a member of the parish. We're the same age. He only runs a couple times a year, while I obviously enjoy running more frequently. He always wins, but it's fun to go out and compete and to push him to run as fast as he can. He won again this year, but by only about 10 seconds. I ran the two miles in just over 14 minutes, which put me in third place behind him and a guy who just graduated high school and went to state in cross country (he ran it in about 12 minutes). Needless to say, I was pleased with how I ran.<br />
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Most of the rest of my July was spent on a youth mission trip to Florida, so not a lot of running happened in there. I got back to running at the end of the month and first part of August, and I ended up running the 5k in a neighboring town this last weekend. I didn't run it as strongly as I thought I could and finished just under 24 minutes, not bad, but not quite what I hoped to do. <br />
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So, now I've got my eyes set on the Fargo Mini Marathon in October. I'll be running the 10k again, and I'm really looking forward to it. I ran it last year in 54:23, and I'm hoping to improve on that. It'd be great if I could run it in under 50 minutes, but we'll see. It's time to start working my mileage up again, so hopefully I can do that without any setbacks. Finishing without pain or injury is always my first priority, so I'll run as fast as I can without damaging my body. Again, that's what was so frustrating about the half marathon finish. I like to run in a way that's life-giving to me. I felt like at the end of the half marathon, I had beat myself up and tortured my body instead of doing something good for it. It just wasn't...fun.<br />
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Having said that, when we registered for the 10k, it asked if we planned on running the marathon or half marathon in the spring. We both said "yes" again to the half marathon, so I think I'll try it one more time. I'm still refining my training techniques, so hopefully I can finish again, this time without beating my body up too badly. It has finally settled my mind about one thing, however: I'm NEVER running a marathon. Running 13.1 miles barefoot is enough...I'll leave anything more than that to the truly crazy...Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-11550487269890273872011-02-22T21:29:00.000-06:002011-02-22T21:29:47.597-06:00Footprints in the SnowI've mentioned several times how cool it is to run in the snow in my Vibrams. The sight of my own (nearly) bare footprints in the snow still makes me smile and feel more deeply alive. During my last run, I came across two deer (a doe and her fawn). They were about 1/4 mile ahead of me. I watched them scamper along the road for a while in front of me before bounding across a snowy field that's part of a wildlife refuge. Seeing my footprints alongside their hoof marks was really neat. It made me think a little bit about my relationship to nature and our place as human beings in the world. My footprints next to theirs reminded me that in some ways I'm their kin, a fellow creature on this earth, but seeing them effortlessly leave the road and leap through the fields made me also remember how different I am from them. Leaving my shoes behind had drawn me a little closer to them, but there's still a line between me and them that feels almost holy. I can feel close to nature, but not quite fully a part of it. As a person of faith, this points to my belief that human beings have a special place on this earth: a little higher than the other creatures, but a little lower than the angels. We occupy the space between the natural and the supernatural. We have some knowledge of both, but cannot fully grasp either of them. I think that's why there was a part of me that was firmly rooted on the road and a part of me that longed to leap out into the field with the deer. That line between the sacred and the profane, between heaven and earth, became a bit blurry for a moment. Somehow my footprints in the snow felt both natural and alien. I sensed I am a part of this world and yet a stranger to it. I think there's grace in that, and an opportunity to see ourselves as we really are...all in one footprint:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuFS9HVyt0zQSCFpmI9yVqHrYkuMLalLroxLNuF2VsYoipXhmwY6ekN6iq350SC4klBaSccGrJ96CxOgrnF6x6jNzk56-0Nu11W5e19_u28BEOyM_UdVYTS_dGG9n6Gh3tR9j9bqoOQMU/s1600/footprintsnow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuFS9HVyt0zQSCFpmI9yVqHrYkuMLalLroxLNuF2VsYoipXhmwY6ekN6iq350SC4klBaSccGrJ96CxOgrnF6x6jNzk56-0Nu11W5e19_u28BEOyM_UdVYTS_dGG9n6Gh3tR9j9bqoOQMU/s320/footprintsnow.jpg" width="248" /></a></div>Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-32004501641368538902011-02-12T13:36:00.000-06:002011-02-12T13:36:40.223-06:00Warmer WindA band called Low Stars put out an album several years ago with a track titled "Warmer Wind." The chorus goes, "There's a warmer wind and I can feel it, calling me again. I'm moving on." While the song is about moving on from one relationship to another, I thought of it today as I ran outside for the first time in several months. A temperature of 28 degrees and a windchill of 17 might not sound warm to you, but it felt balmy compared to the bitter cold we've had for most of this winter. Most importantly to me, it meant that it was warm enough to get out and get a few miles in. My running shoes were calling me again, so I was moving on outside for a quick 2.5 mile run.<br />
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It felt good to run again. I took it easy for the most part. I could tell my conditioning is a little lacking right now, but that's what I expected. I was more winded than usual, even with a slower pace. Most importantly, though, I came back with no pain. I can't describe how amazing that is, especially when my experience up til this last year with running was one filled with knee pain, back pain, chest pain, etc. It's simply wonderful to go run and feel like it's something my body was built to do, rather than something I'm punishing my body with. Sure, I tax my muscles and endurance, but it feels like I'm doing it in a natural way that my body can tolerate. I'm not fighting my body, I'm truly exercising it. <br />
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I've also had a few more good experiences with cross country skiing lately. I was invited to go along with a group of people to their farm to ski some trails they have back around their hunting cabin. It is a really beautiful place and it made me feel good to know that they thought I had improved enough to go with them. I only fell three times (once on purpose), and kept up with them pretty well. I had a great time and they all said I did really well for being so new to it. I hope I can get out a few more times before the snow is gone. <br />
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I don't have much more to add right now, oddly enough. No profound revelations or deep thoughts. I'm just happy to do something I love again. I hope these warmer winds are here to stay for a while!Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-5579986277010165932011-01-31T23:11:00.000-06:002011-01-31T23:11:29.988-06:00Learning to skiI haven't run in several weeks, and I can't stand it! If you don't love to run, you won't understand, but there are some days when I want nothing more than to be outside running. That's why it's tough to go to the window and see nothing but snow and ice out there. That's winter in Minnesota, though, so I guess I have to deal with it.<br />
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I mentioned in my last post that I've taken up cross country skiing. It has proven to be a good activity to see me through some of these winter days. I really enjoy it. I'm learning from a member of my parish who has trails cut around his property. It's great to be able to learn from someone who has been skiing for almost as long as I've been alive, and to be doing it out of sight of others. I had never been on skis of any kind in my life before, so I fell a lot the first time, even a couple times on level ground! It would have been embarrassing and frustrating to go through that in a more public place. Luckily my teacher is very patient and encouraging. By the second and third time, I was doing much better. I still fall every once in a while going down some of the steeper hills, but I improve every time out. It's great cardio work and really enjoyable to be out in the woods. I wish I could do it more, but it takes more of a time commitment than running, so I'm only able to get out and ski once a week or so. <br />
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On a deeper level, the whole experience has reminded me of how important mentors are for us throughout our lives. Perhaps there are some people out there who really are "self taught" at certain things, but for most of us, we need others to look up to and to instruct us. I've been thinking a lot about how we are essentially relational beings. We are not individuals who form relationships. Instead, our individual identities emerge out of the relationships around us. This is not meant to pass the buck, as if we aren't responsible for our actions as individuals. For me, it just brings a greater understanding to who I am and why I am. It also helps me remember that I'm not running (or skiing) alone. Since winter can be pretty isolating here in the north, that's no small thing. <br />
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Perhaps that's one hidden blessing in winter. It gives you a healthy appreciation of the blessings you enjoy when they return. Maybe I would start to hate running if I could do it in 65 degree weather all year long. A little time to wait and reflect and anticipate that joy again is good in its own way. Like spending time away from a good friend, it can make the reunion that much more joyous. Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-26749761062098298392011-01-13T21:54:00.000-06:002011-01-13T21:54:58.820-06:00Beginning againThis is life. Life is starting something, working at it, seeing it succeed or fail (or land somewhere in between), and then starting something again. Life is not a straight line, but more like a spiral...or maybe a double helix. I'm not making any sense, so let me begin again...<br />
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I'm beginning again. Last year's attempt at a blog and a half marathon failed...sort of. They were both partially successful. Not long after my last post, I injured my foot, which meant that I could not run the half marathon in May. It also deflated my interest in blogging. I know that's lame, especially because the posts I would have written at that time probably would have been my best. So I was lame and the blog was lame. That's why I'm trying again, at both the running and blogging. <br />
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So about the injury...I had worked up to running around 7 miles every other day in my Vibram shoes. That turned out to be too much. On Easter Sunday afternoon, at about mile 6, I felt something "catch" in my right foot. I finished the run without much pain, but by the next day, I knew the pain I was feeling was not the usual muscle fatigue I had been used to. I rested it and rested it, waiting for the pain to die down. It didn't hurt all the time, only when I put weight on it in a certain way. Finally, after two weeks, I tried running a little bit, but could hardly make it around the block. I relented and went to the doctor. They took X-rays, which showed there were no breaks or stress fractures (good news). He concluded that I had ligamentous laxity (loose ligaments). Basically, I had strained the ligaments in my foot, but not torn them. He suggested I keep resting it and start running again when I felt comfortable, but starting with only a mile or so at a time. <br />
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So that pretty much shot my training schedule and my hopes of running the half marathon. I was pretty disappointed, but once I started running again, my wife encouraged me to set a new goal. We picked a 10k in October to run with a couple of friends as our goal to work toward. That gave me enough motivation to start running again once my foot felt better. It wasn't long and I was back to feeling great during my runs, but I was still disappointed with the realization that running a half marathon may not be something I would ever do. <br />
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But, since I was running up to 4 or 5 miles with no discomfort, I decided to run the 2 mile race for our city's summer festival (Bonanza Valley Days) in July. Since the guy who would have finished 1st missed a turn (he was from out of town), I finished 3rd in my age category with a time of 14:35. Obviously, it's not a very competitive race, but it was fun to run and show people around here what running in minimal footwear is all about. <br />
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Soon, the summer was over and it was time for the 10k in Fargo in October. I wasn't sure what to expect since I had never run in an event with that many people. It turned out to be a complete blast. I thought maybe there would be some others wearing Vibrams or running barefoot, but everyone that I saw was in running shoes. I got a few looks from people and a few questions. At the starting line, one guy asked, "Doesn't it hurt when you step on a rock?" I just smiled and said, "I don't step on rocks." :) <br />
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Based on my training, I knew I could run it in under an hour, but I wasn't sure by how much. I ended up finishing with a time of 54:23, finishing 115th overall out of 640 runners, 12/26 in my division, and 64/171 male finishers. Even better, I finished feeling fantastic with absolutely no pain or soreness. I sprinted across the finish line with a huge grin on my face. I kept running through the fall, but that was it for races for me in 2010. <br />
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So, with 2011 already 13 days old, I'm beginning again. Based on my experiences of 2010, both the failures and successes, I've decided to aim again for the Fargo half marathon in May. I'm more confident that I will reach my goal this time, but also more cautious. My training is different this time. I'm going to try to focus on cross-training, including some weight lifting (something I've never been fond of), and running less each time out. I know my right foot can't take the pounding of running more than 6 miles on pavement very often, so I'm going to have to be careful. I find that if I can get 3 miles in every day, that feels better than trying to run 6 or 7 miles every other day. I will also try to do a lot more running on soft surfaces. My experience at the 10k was that, when I'm feeling good, I can run and run and run. The only thing keeping me from running more was the finish line. I know my foot will hurt after the half marathon and I'll have to take some time off then, but I'm confident that I can keep it healthy until race day. <br />
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With lots of snow and ice outside, it will be a while before I can even think about running. I did run in the middle of a snowstorm a while back, which was exhilarating. Nothing like looking back and seeing barefoot prints in the snow! On a related note (and I'll write more about this later), in order to keep my cardio activity level higher during the winter, I've taken up cross country skiing. I haven't been able to do it very often, unfortunately, but the time I've spent doing it has been great. <br />
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Ok, so that's enough for my first post in 9 months. Here's to a great 2011 and to beginning again (and again).Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-56782559807859133052010-03-21T23:54:00.000-05:002010-03-21T23:54:55.675-05:00Spring is hereThought I'd post a quick note to say I'm fully enjoying running again. Both feet are virtually pain free. My run on Thursday was the best I've had in nearly a month. After the first mile, everything loosened up, and I felt like I could go forever. I still only did 2 miles, just to be sure I didn't go too far too soon. I probably looked goofy running around town with a big smile on my face, though. That's what happens when I can just run, especially with the sun out! It's honestly like I'm a kid again, just running for fun, to see how fast and how far I can go. I was reminded of that joy again today as we had some friends over for supper. Since the weather was nice, we celebrated the first day of spring by grilling and playing outside. One of the first things the kids wanted to do was race their dad around the house. It was great to see them running just to run. That kid is still in me, the one that just wants to get out of the house and run in the warm spring sunshine, and I know it's those moments of freedom and childlike bliss that keep me running. <br />
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Anyway, I did 3 miles today. Again, virtually no pain except for plain ol muscle fatigue. My confidence is building again and I am really excited to start working up the distance again. Monday marks two months until the race, so I guess I'd better get going! Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-77883787393372613612010-03-16T09:53:00.000-05:002010-03-16T09:53:25.876-05:00March-ing onI haven't written anything for several weeks (ok, almost a month!)...a couple of reasons for that. First, our second son was born on February 26th, so we've been a bit busy taking care of him along with our 2 year old! Overall it's been great and all the joy he brings us more than makes up for the lack of sleep and added stress. The other reason is it's Lent and well, if you are or were a pastor, you know that's enough said about that...<br />
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BUT, in spite of all of these exciting yet time-consuming events in my life, I have been finding time to get out and run. The weather has warmed up and the snow is gone off the streets, so it's been nice to run without all the cold weather gear or trying to make my way across snow and patchy ice. <br />
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A couple things on the running front, though. Around the time Matthew was born, I started increasing my base distance for my daily runs up to 4 miles a day. I was able to maintain that for 4 days. Then I started running on asphalt instead of the gravel (the gravel had turned to mud and that was not fun). Anyway, it only took one run at that distance in town and the tops of my feet started to get really sore. The added impact of the harder surface was just too much for them to take at that distance. My frustration level went up and I really started to have serious doubts about whether I could run this half marathon in these "shoes." I knew there were several options. I could completely stop running and let my feet recover before basically starting from scratch, or I could continue running through the pain and see what happened. <br />
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After taking two days off, I decided to keep running, but I scaled back the distance and speed, focusing again on getting the proper barefoot running form down. I'm back to 2 miles, all on pavement, and I try to keep the pace to about 9 minute miles. I know I haven't done any major damage to my feet because I haven't had any swelling or bruising, and the soreness goes away after a good night's rest. Basically, it's just the muscles in my feet adjusting and getting stronger. I still have no knee, hip, or back pain. I know that this is just part of learning to run differently and using muscles that I've really never used this way. After nearly a week of this, the pain is much less and I'm regaining my confidence that I can achieve my goal.<br />
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On a deeper level, it's reminded me that growing and getting stronger is almost always a painful process. I think I had almost kidded myself into thinking that this was going to be easy if I took it slow. Eventually, though, you have to push your mind and body to its limit and beyond what you think is possible. In my faith, one of my favorite theologians is Dietrich Bonhoeffer and one of his most famous works is "The Cost of Discipleship." Faith and a life of discipleship is not meant to be easy or comfortable. The call to take up our crosses and follow Jesus is going to hurt and be inconvenient. <br />
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We live in a paradoxical culture that on the one hand says it values hard work, but on the other seems all too eager to take the easy way out whenever possible. It's the same in our churches. We talk about discipleship and the importance of sacrifice and service, but we often drag our feet or make excuses for not doing those things. In the end, maybe we each would prefer a faith or a savior that wasn't so challenging. I'd like to keep my own goals, dreams, and ambitions without having to lay them down at the cross of Christ and replace them with obedience to God's will. Of course, there are going to be setbacks and frustrations and we will fail, but the call remains to "run the race." So whether we are setting out to become a runner or a disciple, we shouldn't be surprised that it will come with pain and hardship. I almost forgot, but my sore feet are reminding me again.Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-43150154330220734662010-02-16T21:31:00.000-06:002010-02-16T21:31:59.241-06:00They're finally here!Well, I finally received my Vibram Five Fingers shoes several days ago. Here's what they look like:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7e9B8KLwt__-eil1qt4sSFMjdFg6opXdLU9HvGSZWDavREnX6BcWu2V84mYWiIJZgWTwOBgHyss5FHJTgegx3pCUW2_EYtBubN6TTwDBsKcp5UhKLQuIOFTgQ87CDL1dWROWpvq5ENgE/s1600-h/vibram1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7e9B8KLwt__-eil1qt4sSFMjdFg6opXdLU9HvGSZWDavREnX6BcWu2V84mYWiIJZgWTwOBgHyss5FHJTgegx3pCUW2_EYtBubN6TTwDBsKcp5UhKLQuIOFTgQ87CDL1dWROWpvq5ENgE/s320/vibram1.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Attractive, huh? Well, they're not stylish, but they feel great. I've been wearing them around the house to get my feet used to them, and today I took my first serious run in them. The day after I got them I ran around the block just to see what they felt like running, but nothing strenuous. Today the weather was warm enough in the afternoon to give it a try for a longer distance. I ended up doing a little more than a mile in them. No aches, no pains, but I was glad I only went that far for now. By the time I got home, I could start to feel my feet tiring a little. <br />
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It's an exhilirating way to run, though. You can really feel the ground, but the rubber on the bottom of the shoes is enough to keep your feet free of cuts and scrapes. They provide good traction on most surfaces. There is some hard packed snow and ice on our roads, so I did slip a few times, but no falls. It just makes you pay attention to where you're going. I was also a little wary of going out and running on snow because of the temperature. I wasn't sure if my feet would stay warm, but they did. In fact, they warmed up as I went. The top cloth on the shoes is not meant to insulate much, but at least it gave some protection from the wind. I wouldn't go out and run if it was around 0, but anything in the double digits should be managable for moderate distances (< 5 miles). The only thing I think I'll get is some socks to wear in them because my left big toenail rubs a little on the rubber part that wraps over the end of the toes, even after trimming it closely. I think it's because that nail sticks up just a little more than the others, so it's not a fit problem. It's probably nothing that would do any damage, but just a little annoying. Plus, the socks will add another layer of warmth for these colder months. All in all, it was a great first run in them. I found myself smiling uncontrollably through much of it. <br />
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For now, the weather is supposed to hold up with warmer temps through the rest of the week, so hopefully I can get out there again for at least a mile every day. I'm really trying to hold myself back and take it slow because I've heard some stories of swollen feet, sore achilles tendons, and aching calves from people who have gone out and run several miles in them right away without building up to it. I've avoided all of that so far, but still don't want to push too far too soon. In the meantime, the half is a little more than three months away, and we still haven't had our baby yet!Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-68427305179089943432010-02-12T13:11:00.000-06:002010-02-12T13:11:40.645-06:00Less than 100 days!The countdown has clicked past 100 days, so I guess I need to really start thinking about how I'm going to make it through training for this half marathon. My Vibram Five Fingers shoes are on order through Scheel's, so I'm patiently waiting for them to arrive. I went with the style that fully encloses your foot, but not the neoprene kind for cold weather. You can see what I got here: <a href="http://www.vibramfivefingers.com/products/products_KSO_m.cfm">http://www.vibramfivefingers.com/products/products_KSO_m.cfm</a> Basically, I figured that I'm going to be training indoors at first, and these seemed to be a good compromise between cold and warm weather. Also, there was some question about the availability of the other more insulated kind, so my mind was sort of made up for me. I'll post more about them when they arrive. <br />
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Based on advice from various sources, I'm planning on starting slowly with them. I'll walk around the house with them on for a few hours every day for 5 days, then gradually start trying to run in them, doing a mile the first week, then ramping up from there. I'm hoping my feet will be in good shape soon enough that I can go through a standard 12 week training cycle for the half. I think I will be cutting it close! <br />
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The other countdown around our house that has me preoccupied lately is the countdown to the birth of our second child. The due date is Feb 22, but let's hope he makes an early appearance for my wife's sake! Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-70391870052780414632010-01-23T21:35:00.002-06:002010-01-23T21:35:48.488-06:00Something you should knowIt seems like there is a lot of darkness in the world right now. I don't know about you, but I get more than my fill of bad news every day. The recent death of a close friend in Haiti has brought all of this even more into focus for myself and many of you. I just needed to tell you all that, if you're reading this and you're one of my friends, you have brought light into my world. Whether you're a brief acquaintance or a close friend or family member, you have made a difference in my life. I know it sounds trite, just some sappy thing to say to people, but when the darkness gets so overwhelming, sometimes the littlest lights seem that much brighter. So thank you for helping to light up my life in these otherwise dark days. Don't worry, I'm not having a nervous breakdown, and I'm not deeply depressed. I just needed to tell you all that, in the midst of a world that we struggle to make meaning out of, you mean something to me. And you may not believe in God like I do, but you need to know that you mean something to God, too. "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." <br />
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Oh, and this wasn't some goofy forward. Even though it maybe sounds like it, it wasn't written by a junior high girl (if you're one of my Confirmation students, just, well...you know you write goofy stuff). This is me, Bryant, saying thank you for being my friend. If you have something to give to those suffering in Haiti, please give. No matter what, keep shining your light into our weary world.<br />
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*end sappy note to friends*<br />
*resume listening to "pants on the floor"*Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-91486819029567377222010-01-16T01:01:00.001-06:002010-01-16T22:34:36.810-06:00It's been a whileI ran for the first time in quite a while today. There were several reasons for taking a break from running and several reasons why today was the day I started again. I haven't run in a while because first, we got hammered by snow over Christmas. Then, we were out of town to see family at the end of December. Then, when we returned home, we found Minnesota had remembered that it was supposed to be cold during the winter. The short days with sub-zero temperatures were not good for my overall morale, and not being able to run outside really started to get to me. <i>Then</i>, when the weather finally started to warm up, I went and dropped a table on my left foot. I thought maybe I'd broken my big toe at first, but thankfully it was only bruised. It's still very black and blue, but the pain is gone.<br />
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So, with the weather improved and my toe on the mend, it meant that I was finally able to get back out and run a bit today. I didn't push too far, only going about 3 miles. I'm glad I didn't go farther as my feet and calves are a bit sore this evening. It looks like warm(er) weather is supposed to be around for a while, so hopefully I can get back into shape. It's amazing how quickly the muscles in your feet lose strength when you don't exercise them!<br />
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So there were many reasons why I was thankful to be able to run again today, but perhaps the biggest was because I really needed to do it to help grieve the loss of a good friend from seminary who was killed in the earthquake in Haiti. I know running may seem like a strange way to mourn to some people, but it will make sense to you if you're a runner. After hearing the news, my wife (who is nearly 8 months pregnant) said this was the first time in a long time she felt like she really needed to run, but couldn't. I suppose some people run just for the exercise, but those who truly love to run understand that it fills a lot more needs in our lives than simply burning calories and getting an aerobic workout.<br />
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So this morning, as I ran through the foggy and frosty Minnesota prairie, I prayed for Ben, his wife Renee, his cousin Jon, and all their family and friends who have been devastated by the news of Ben's death, and I prayed for all the other people whose lives have been torn apart by this horrendous tragedy. I came back feeling drained in nearly every possible way, but still trusting that God will fill us again.Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-74918243969184633662009-12-16T22:20:00.001-06:002009-12-16T22:21:23.662-06:00It's OfficialI'm officially registered for the Half Marathon in Fargo on May 22, 2010! Here's the proof:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNTl52saEgmaEMIivtn7xTvAVcv5ihjt_SqU5MDIaGSjnIkYkCU-StuCtG1NjVU17p9M-WTwa8mnySFjwGVcHowHIKzAv2IrxVA9np3fkaZAH53hRbIGE2gNG1oHzxQobEOpGxZlym3ZM/s1600-h/marathonregister.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNTl52saEgmaEMIivtn7xTvAVcv5ihjt_SqU5MDIaGSjnIkYkCU-StuCtG1NjVU17p9M-WTwa8mnySFjwGVcHowHIKzAv2IrxVA9np3fkaZAH53hRbIGE2gNG1oHzxQobEOpGxZlym3ZM/s320/marathonregister.JPG" /></a><br />
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Now all I have to do is figure out how I'm going to run 13.1 miles in basically what amount to rubber foot gloves...ah, details! I've been starting to gradually strengthen my feet by going barefoot in the house whenever I can and doing some simple stretching exercises. It's amazing how I used to take my feet for granted, but hopefully I can turn around years of neglect and get them back into shape. Strong feet make for a strong runner. Actually, come to think of it, Isaiah knew that a good pair of feet can do some pretty amazing things, too. Maybe I should get a shirt printed for race day that says, "Blessed are the feet of those who bring good news!" - Isaiah 52:7 Maybe prayerfully getting my feet in shape can be another way to think about preparing myself for the daily tasks of ministry. I wonder where my feet will take me to share the good news today?Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-63243268835965143532009-12-11T14:06:00.000-06:002009-12-11T14:06:17.915-06:00Winter is hereThe first real snow of the season blew in earlier this week, and although we didn't get as much as they did to the south, we still have a few inches on the ground. The real trouble is the wind is fierce and the temperature has plummeted. It looks like winter may be here to stay for a while, so that means it's time for me to ponder what to do about my running. I could run indoors over at the school, but that means getting up extra early so I can be out of the building by 7:30. We'll see if I can make a commitment to doing that. Also, running inside or on a treadmill seems kind of like a prison sentence to me. I really don't like it. I have enough cold weather running gear that I could probably make a go of it outside as long as the windchill is around double digits above. It might get there this afternoon, so I'm waiting to see if I can run in another hour or so. Some work needs to be done in the house first!<br />
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I also have been blessed to be joined on this journey of discipline and self-improvement by one of my best friends who's also a pastor. Together, I know that we can both achieve our goals. It's also a blessing to know that this process is going to keep me more closely connected to someone I miss and care about.Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-79626373962333512452009-12-08T21:25:00.002-06:002009-12-08T21:27:11.920-06:00Why I love rural ministryI love being a pastor, mostly because I feel called to do this work, but also because I love people. I especially love small town and rural people. While they tend to be reserved at times (understatement of the week), I have not been disappointed in finding reasons to smile every day while serving with the people here.<br />
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One of my most recent examples of the little joys that keep me smiling is a conversation I had with a farmer the other day. Our family had briefly stopped at his house to drop something off, and of course had to chat for a few minutes. Somehow the conversation turned to his cattle (they had just bought some new calves) and he ended up telling me a story of one time that some of his cows got out. He got a call from someone who said they thought some of his cows were running down the highway into town, 5 miles away! He said, "No, those can't be mine." The person asked if he had any cows with white faces and orange ear tags and he sheepishly said, "Yeah." Sure enough, some of his cows had gone for a run down the highway (right on the centerline, no less) all the way to town, where they were spotted by the elementary school. He went into town, gathered them up, turned them around, and away they went, running all the way back home, right on the centerline again! Hearing him tell this story was entertaining enough, but the clincher was when he concluded the story in typical Norwegian farmer deadpan, "Well, at least they didn't go into the school. <i>That </i>would have been embarassing!" I just about died laughing. I love these people!Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-61234355698091968422009-12-02T23:43:00.001-06:002009-12-02T23:46:03.991-06:00Pacing and choices<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After running 8 miles on Monday, I haven't been able to get out and run again and it's frustrating me...no, it's actually worrying me. It's not that I haven't felt good enough to run or wanted to run, it's that I simply haven't had the time to run...no, that's not true either. I haven't chosen to run, and </span><i><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">that</span></i><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'s what has me worried. It's reminding me that I need to learn to pace myself better, both in my running and in my life. I can't start out at such a torrid pace that I burn out or give up before I've even really begun. This is the pattern of my life that I desperately want...no, that I </span><i><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">need</span></i><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> to change. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My wife and I were talking about it the other morning when we found the kitchen a mess again, and we wondered why it was that we both have a tendency to take our dirty dishes to the sink and leave them there without taking the extra step to put them in the dishwasher 3 feet away? Why am I willing to just settle for doing things halfway? Then I look around my life and wonder why it seems so chaotic! I don't want running to be the same way. I don't want to do this halfway. I don't want to run occasionally, I want...no...I feel called to be a runner. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My struggle with all of this is that, like a lot of people, my track record shows that I'm good at making a resolution to change and do things differently, but then after a little while the old habits take over and I'm back to the same old routine. The lazy, procrastinating me has won out and the new, better me waits until I get frustrated enough to make another resolution to change. This up and down roller coaster of commitments and relapses just has to stop. It has to be different this time. If I don't do it now, I don't know when it will happen. I can't expect there to be a better time in the future to make these changes. There will always be a whole host of excuses to make. As Rage Against the Machine (yes, there are pastors who like them) says, "What better place than here? What better time than now?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm sure that this is my biggest obstacle to this whole process. I'm good at making really big commitments, but not at following through with all the little choices along the way. Like marriage, it's not just one big commitment that you make, it's a daily, moment by moment choice. I've made the commitment to being a runner, now the challenge is to keep making the daily choices that go along with that, otherwise the commitment means nothing. I'm also making the commitment to change a lot of other things in my life, and I need to keep making the little choices that go along with those things, too. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The first step is to recognize that I actually do have a choice. I can choose to put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher. I can choose to spend 10 minutes picking up the house before I sit down at the computer or in front of the TV or with a book. I can choose to go to bed and wake up 30 minutes earlier to run. I can make those choices. The question each day and each moment is whether I will make them or not. To quote another favorite band of mine, Alter Bridge, "I look inside of myself. Will I find some kind of conviction? Will I bid the hero farewell? Will I be defined by things that could have been? I guess time will only tell."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px;"></span>In the end, I know that there will be times when I fail, but I trust that by God's grace I'm forgiven and freed to continue to try. My choices will not completely define me in the end. My identity as a child of God is secure, and thanks to the daily gift of repentance and forgiveness, every day is a new chance to make a different choice. The question is, what will I choose? Each day I have to tell myself, "I choose to run."</span>Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-39443121202142456662009-12-01T00:21:00.000-06:002009-12-01T00:21:02.681-06:00Becoming a runnerA big part of what has inspired me to run more and train for this half marathon is the idea that running taps into something very natural and basic about who we are as human beings. Part of exploring that aspect of running for me has meant moving toward less supportive footwear, but before I go any further on the subject of running shoes, let me say this: I know ditching your padded and ultra-supportive shoes may not be for you, and that's fine. You have to decide what's best for you. I hope that no matter what, exploring a little bit about our human history of running will at least inspire you to get out and give running a try again. Trust me, you used to love to do it. All you have to do is watch my 2 year old tear around the house to realize that at one time everyone who could run as a child loved nothing more than to run and run and run. You still have that child in you, and running can still be fun!<br />
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Anyway, back to shoes. Most of the articles I've read about the growing trend of running in minimal footwear (or even barefoot) focus on the debate it's causing with the athletic shoe industry, and that makes sense because that's where the money is. That's not really what I'm most interested in, though. I'm not here to snub my nose at the multi-billion dollar shoe industry (they'll do just fine without me I'm sure). I'm not doing it to feel superior to anyone else. I'm not doing it to simply follow a trend. <br />
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The simple fact is, I decided to start running in more minimal footwear because I was curious to see if it would really make a difference in my tolerance for running longer distances. I started under the assumption that I would try it for a while, and if it didn't work, I would go back to running in my normal shoes (hopefully without seriously hurting myself before then). Since I've found that I can run more confidently, for longer distances, and with less pain in less supportive shoes, there has been no turning back for me. So I've ditched my standard running shoes simply because I run better without them. I don't think I will ever want to run completely barefoot, but I'm hoping to find something even more minimal than my Converse low tops (see postscript).<br />
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As I've done that, however, I'm discovering another reason why I think I'm drawn to the "less is more" approach to running shoes. This reason is a bit more abstract, but I feel like running this way is connecting me with a very ancient human identity that's in each of us. This is really the part of all of this that excites and inspires me the most, and it's the part that I find the most spiritual (for lack of a better word). This idea that running is a shared human behavior that stretches back millions of years has simply captured my imagination. We may not live in caves anymore. We may not hunt with spears (or at all). We may have advanced technologically to the point that most of our lives would be unrecognizable to our earliest human ancestors, but we still have the same physical characteristics that make homo sapiens the distance running champion of all organisms on this planet. Somehow, it was only when I stripped down my shoes and started to really feel the ground under my feet that I really connected with this. It makes me feel that, instead of saying, "I like to run every once in a while," I want to honestly say, "I am a runner," because running is becoming more than just a pasttime or exercise routine for me. It's becoming a much deeper part of my identity. When I'm running now, I feel like I'm honestly doing something that God created me to do at a fundamental level. It's a way of experiencing those rare moments where I feel connected to something much larger than myself. It's a way for me to celebrate the miracle of our human bodies. It's a way for me to remember that I have been created for a purpose. I hope that as I continue to explore this aspect of my running, it will become a way for me to carry that focus and purpose into the rest of my life. <br />
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As a postscript (can blogs have postscripts?), if you're interested in learning more about some of the evolutionary science that's going on around distance running, check out this <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/27/health/27well.html?_r=1&em">article from the New York Times website back in October</a>. There's also a video on that page that includes an interview with Christopher MacDougall and shows him and the Times' columnist running through Central Park barefoot. And here is a link to what I want for Christmas, so I can run in even less footwear: <a href="http://www.vibramfivefingers.com/">Vibram Five Fingers</a>Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-22780727549466289532009-11-30T11:14:00.000-06:002009-11-30T11:14:47.392-06:00The best dumb thing I've done in a whileAfter basically taking the holiday weekend off from running, I decided today was a must run day. I took off this morning thinking I'd run my typical 3 to 4 miles. My usual route is to just head north out of town on a gravel road until I get to the first intersection, then turn around and come back. That first intersection north of town is almost exactly 2 miles from my house, so it's a nice easy way to tell how far I've run. When I got to that intersection this morning, I was feeling good and thought, "It sure would be a waste to turn around now. Let's see how much farther I can go." So I kept running past my usual turn around spot...something I'd never done before. <br />
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Figuring that, like in most flat, rural areas, these must be "section roads" laid out to form a grid of 1 square mile blocks, I thought maybe I'd just try to run to the next intersection. As I kept running, though, the next intersection still wasn't on the horizon. I just kept running, thinking there's no use in turning around when I'm sure it's just up ahead. Finally, I found another intersection and turned around. When I started running back, I realized I had gone a lot farther than I had meant to and my legs started screaming at me. It wasn't until I got home and looked at a map that I realized that on that particular section, the grid is in 2 square mile blocks, so I ended up running an additional 4 miles! I didn't set out to run 8 miles when I left this morning, but that's what I did! Needless to say, I was beat when I got home, but it felt good to know that I can push myself farther than I thought possible. It made me think that maybe I shouldn't get so hung up on how far I'm going to run, and just run the distance that feels right for that day. <br />
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I learned a couple other things about my running, too. When my legs were getting really tired, I could slow my pace and recover while still running. I only walked for less than 5 minutes out of the whole run. Toward the end, I also realized that I could keep going if I kept setting managable goals. "Just run to the next sign." "Just run to that house." "Run to the railroad tracks." and so on until I made it home. Somewhere along the way I'd learned that breaking a big task down into managable goals is a key to success, and maybe that's something I'm finally taking to heart through running, too.Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-10333953075883981762009-11-25T22:35:00.005-06:002009-11-25T23:34:15.765-06:00Thanksgiving Eve 2009<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>I probably won't post many of my sermons to this blog, but this sermon that I preached this evening for Thanksgiving Eve was one that came out of a lot of my own faith and life experiences related to my reasons for running again. It seemed to have an impact on a lot of people in my congregation, so I hope you find something in it, too. <br />
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Thanksgiving Eve 2009<br />
Matthew 6:25-33<br />
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When I was growing up, my family had a tradition that perhaps many of yours share. When we sat down at the table for our Thanksgiving dinner, my mom insisted that we go around the table and say at least one thing that we were thankful for. When I was younger, I didn't always realize why that was so important, so I didn't put much thought into my answers. That's the question, though, that sticks out in my mind when I think of Thanksgiving: What are you thankful for?<br />
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And we'll get to that in a minute, but as I read these words from Jesus in Matthew 6, I couldn't help but feel a little disconnect between that question and what Jesus is talking about: not worrying. Do not worry! Yeah, right, Jesus, have you seen my life lately? Not worry? No one can live a worry free life. But as I thought more about it, I thought maybe I should ask myself a different question this Thanksgiving: What are you worried about?<br />
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To help us think about these questions, I'm going to ask you to participate in the sermon with me. I know that might be tough for some of you. Maybe some of you wouldn't have shown up tonight if you had known you were going to have to do this, but oh well, you're stuck now. I'm going to hand out these sheets of paper that I want you to fill out. It has two columns, one that says, "Things I'm Worried About" and another that says, "Things I'm Thankful For."<br />
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I want you to start first with the things you're worried about, and I want you to write real worries. You can write things like "terrorism" or "the economy" I suppose, but I really want you to think about specific things that worry you. What keeps you up at night? What's really weighing heavy on your heart, soul, and mind? (I read some of my answers while they filled theirs out. When they seemed to be done, I asked for them to share a few from their lists.)<br />
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Then I want you to write the things you're thankful for. Again, you can write general things like "family" or "faith," but I want you to also be as specific as possible. What are the blessings in your life that you're truly thankful for? What things are given to you daily by God? (Again, I shared some of my own as they thought and wrote, then asked them to share some of theirs.)<br />
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Now look at your two lists. Here's what mine ended up looking like:<br />
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You'll notice I included Jesus because my Sunday School teachers would have a fit if they found out I didn't include Jesus as one of my answers. But look at your lists. Which list is longer? Which one means more to you? Which one contains the most important things in your life? Which one do you think about more? <br />
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When I first did this exercise for myself, I started out thinking that the lists probably weren't going to be very closely related. I thought maybe there might be some connections, but nothing profound. Then, as I looked at my completed lists, I realized that my worries suddenly looked a lot less daunting. I found that what I was really stressed out over and what was really bothering me in my life were pretty insignificant compared to the immense blessings God gives me every day.<br />
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I realized that these things I'm thankful for, they're not just blessings to cover up or shield me from my worries. They're not just given to me to make me happy. Instead, when I saw them right next to all my worries, I realized that they're the things God has given me to deal with the challenges and struggles I face in my life. Look at the things you're thankful for. Those things are your allies, your tools, your armor, your treasure, your storehouse of riches that God has given you to share with others and to see you through whatever worries are threatening to consume your life.<br />
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When you look at everything God has blessed you with in that light, Jesus' words start to make more sense. Do not worry? At first it's, yeah right! All I do is worry sometimes! Jesus can't be serious! But then I look at this list of things I'm thankful for and I realize that I have more than enough to face whatever life might throw at me. And you do too! All of those things God has blessed you with are there for a reason! They're not just randomly dumped into your life haphazardly. They are signs of God's promise to always be with you, to guide you and to care for you.<br />
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I know that there are times when it feels like the cares of the world around you are winning, when your worries are going to swallow you whole, but that's just an illusion. It's a trick to distract you from the truth of God's mercy, love, and grace in your life. It's evil's way of isolating you in your own grave of worries. It's the devil's way of burying you in loneliness. But it's NOT the truth! It's only a shadow of your true life. These worries on this side of the page, they don't define you! They don't control you! They don't own you! Do not worry! These blessings here, these things you're thankful for, these things that God graciously sends into your life every day to sustain you, these blessings that you are to share with your neighbors, they point you back to your true self: a baptized, claimed, redeemed child of God. They remind you that God has not and will never abandon you, but has sent Jesus Christ into this world to take those things that would defeat you onto himself and to carry you back to life. THAT is what defeats all worry and fear! THAT is the greatest gift and blessing of all. THAT is something to be thankful for.Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7978528409247347134.post-88363899519082812912009-11-25T08:35:00.001-06:002009-11-25T08:39:13.357-06:00"A Fresh Start"It may just be a small thing, but the prayer concern in the Christ in Our Home devotion (we use that every once in a while for family devotions) for today is "For those wanting a fresh start." I definitely feel like setting this goal and working to get there is my fresh start in a lot of ways. So I got out and ran two miles in the little bit of snow we have here in MN this morning. It was a bit slushy to wear my Converse shoes since all the tread is worn off the bottom, so I had to go back to my old running shoes. I can definitely tell the difference and I can't wait to get back in my "new" shoes. More about shoes when I have more time, though...<div><br /></div><div>Here's to fresh snow and fresh starts!</div>Bryanthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00732421572673163979noreply@blogger.com0